The Process of Rebuilding - I Want More.
I have lived the past 3½ years in overdrive. In fact, I must admit — I have lived the majority of my life the same way. Since my earliest moments I can remember an intense fear of living a normal life – I just knew there had to be more than simply scraping the surface. And I knew it was up to me to find it.
I have also always been an overly accepting person. Whether circumstantial or otherwise, I have found it wise not to worry about things I cannot change. For example, if someone were to hand me a bologna sandwich, but were without a more preferred option, I would typically suck it up and eat it. I have often considered the alternative, which was that I could have been given nothing at all. I try to remind myself to extend gratitude even when I may desire something more. And while its not always expressed, I can honestly say that rooted deep within my heart is a desire to be gracious in all things.
As the years passed, I blinked and my daughters are all grown and raising their own children, I was seeing that my life has been pretty, well ... ordinary. A very dear friend of mine bought me the book called, 'The Dream Giver' written by Bruce Wilkinson. It completely changed everything for me. I soon saw through the writings of this great story that I was the main character named, well ... 'Ordinary' and I lived in a town called 'Familiar' and me and 'Best Friend' would sit in front of our 'Box' every evening after work and then go to bed only to wake up and head off to our 'J-O-B' which stood for Just Over Broke and come home and do it over and over again.
I looked in the mirror one bright, sunny day and declared, "It's time to REBUILD and I want MORE this time around. I looked around my room and I had all the "things" that I needed. I have food in the cabinet, a warm bed to sleep in, a place to call home, a good job and a new car to get me to and from the places I wanted or needed to go. But there was still this emptiness that I couldn't explain. Something was still missing, but what was it?
Then came the day that I woke up and made the decision that I was sick and tired of living in 'Familiar' and I certainly didn't want to finish out the rest of my life as 'Ordinary' so I began to listen to that beat in my chest. At first it was faint and distant, but the more I paid attention and made the time to REALLY Listen to it, something happened. I began to recall a "dream" that was placed inside of me oh so many years ago. I had put my dream away in order to raise a family, pay bills, and head to my J-O-B everyday. I was keeping up with the Jones' and the debts were accumulating so I began to work harder at my J-O-B in order to be able to pay for all the debt.
Slowly and sadly, the beat of my dream was fading fast. I had a choice to make and that was whether or not I would pull that dream back out and revive it or just give up, let it die and keep things the way they were - You know ... "Ordinary."
I found myself in a place I haven't been before. A place that was new and exciting and the more I traveled in towards this vast new terrain, the more exciting things got and the faster my heart began to pound! My Dream was being revived and restored - I had already faced my bullies along the way and spent my time in The Wasteland. I had spent my time in a place called Sanctuary and I was slaying my giants one at a time, never losing sight of my Big Dream.
I began to take small action steps towards my big dream. Money was tight and my resources were limited, but I simply used what I had and I did what I could. Slow and steady it was as if God saw my heart as well as my efforts and He supplied more of the things I needed. I was amazed at how the right people came along at the right time and doors began to open that I never thought possible.
I WANTED MORE! I wanted to help people that were hurting and suffering. I wanted to further my education in order to be qualified. I wanted to make new friends and to completely fall in love again with all my heart. I wanted to ride a horse on the beach and visit the beautiful, blue waters of the Caribbean. Suddenly all my dreams were manifesting!
I got a bonus on that trip and I got to be at the wheel of a beautiful sail boat and tack my way around the islands where Blue Beard the Pirate sailed! I was truly a Queen for a day! (maybe a lifetime!) I snorkeled and swam alongside a Parrot Fish and saw a stingray and sea turtle swim along the shallow waters along the shore.
As blessed as I have been lately, I still want more! Is that selfish or self centered to want more? No. I don't believe it is. Life is for the living and I am just getting started on an array of adventures and places to travel. I want to learn how to ballroom dance, and visit The Holy Land. I want to see my grandchildren grow up and get married. I want to build a horse ranch in order to provide a place of healing for people that are suffering a loss. Horses can reflect back what is going on inside the human soul.
Oh there is so much more of life that I want. I have a 2020 Vision that I created to help keep me on track of being able to get what I want by the year 2020. I challenge you to create a list of things that you want and just take that first step towards all that is truly within your reach!
Let me know how I can help you, challenge you, grow you, and celebrate the success of YOU! Yes, I specialize in the hurting, but I also have the gift of the goose that will motivate you and keep you on course. Just ask anyone that knows me ... They'll testify to that.
So yeah. I want more and more ... and I'm just getting started! <wink>