It Feels Like We are Drowning.
It was two years ago when the world received the news of the Covid-19 Pandemic. Somehow, I believe God gave me a vision, or deposited a dream inside of me as I was led to share what he placed on my heart: The Grief Pandemic. You can read the blog here -
I would like to believe we all saw it coming, but sadly, many were not prepared for the destruction it would leave in it's path. We all witnessed death tolls and fear gripped the world as our fears became the reality. America witnessed the destruction of statues, the division of races, violence, police departments being defunded, a criminal who was deemed worthy of the Amercian Flag, who was suffocated to death by an angry, frustrated officer. We witnessed our borders being flooded with human beings trying to escape the harsh realities of their own countries, and with them came sex trafficing, and drug cartels pushing fentynol. We watched our government being split apart as the Left vs. Right - We are known as the Eagle, and an eagle cannot fly with two broken wings.
We witnessed school shootings and the lives of innocent children being slain. Lives changed forever. I don't even have the words to be honest. The rise and increase of domestic violence, the harsh realities of addiction relapses because the voices of the demons they were fighting took them down. How many suicides have you witnessed? Personally, for me it's been four just within this past year of 2022. They lost all hope and just could not see their life filled with joy, happiness and security. Hope deferred makes the heart sick.
What will become of the children, who for two years, were masked up, forced to stay six feet apart, and could not see the smiles of their teachers and fellow students? The trauma of those who never got to say their final goodbye's to those they loved because of mandates for our safety ... Jobs lost, churces, temples and mosques closed down just when people of faith needed them the most.
It was as if someone had dumped a ten-thousand piece puzzle down in front of all us, and we were all merely doing our best to sift through the pieces, and trying to make sense of it all. There was no picture on the box to let us know for sure, what this puzzle looked like. It felt impossible to even try to find the border pieces. Many of us are still sifting through it, some are beginning to see a glimpse of hope, while others are in bondage and outrage. We are all working on the same puzzle ... some may have the pieces we are looking for ...
The Waters Are Receeding
Let's pause for a moment and try to catch our breath as we continue to be emerged in these treacherous waters we find ourselves. The struggle of trying stay afloat is vital right now as we are once again witnessing the inflation, high gas prices, recession is on the horizon. Great! More GRIEF!
Pay close attention to the eyes on the photo above ... are they looking to the left, or right? No. Are they looking down in despair? No. They are looking up ... Why? I feel so strongly they are reached the precipace. Pain is a great motivator for change. When a coyote is trapped, he will chew his own leg off to get away from the pain he's experiencing. Maybe that explains the suicide rates I spoke about earlier. It's sad to see so many in that much emotional and physical pain.
Now we are seeing the effects on humanity of Roe vs. Wade. We are seeing that prayer is allowed in schools. Some of us who believe in the Lord are rejoicing as those who don't know are outraged. Depends on what God you serve and I will leave it at that. I have been on both sides of each of these so called debates. I remember when our teacher led us in prayer ... we never had anyone come inside and shoot children. High school kids carried shot guns in the windows of their pick-up trucks, and nobody viewed the right to carry arms a threat to humanity.
Abortion is still legal in some states, and that is the point of this particular ruling. Nowhere in our Constitution is abortion mentioned. It should be up to the each State. I have been on the receiving end of death calls prior to the procedure of abortion when a mother/father calls the funeral home asking if we can do a cremation or burial. It always struck hard as each parent would say, "My baby" and yet when the nurse from the clinic would call once the procedure was completed, she would say, "It's just tissue."
I recall trying to drop off some pamphlets to allow the clinic to look over on Post-Partum Grief. I was drilled and probed to see if I was some sort of Pro-Life Extremist. They asked if I was there to protest, or try to talk women out of their choice. My first thought was, "Why are you all so defensive?" I recall my conversation with the lady I met with and I told her, "I am merely trying to offer healing to them. No judgements, no fear mongering, no lables, as they come to terms with their choice to terminate the pregnancy."
I recall standing outside of the clinic, looking at the blank stares of young women ages 14-25 years of age. They weren't celebrating - they weren't supported as many were there alone. I saw them place their hands on their belly, the tears welled up in their eyes. I remembered being that 16 year old girl, who felt as though I had brought great shame to my family. I remember the voices of those I considered friends screaming at me to "Get rid of it - You're ruining your life!" My own mother even proposed abortion and I said, No.
I had friends who had gone through it, and they had nightmares, and one committed suicide over being coerced by her boyfriend and family. That alone shook me to the core. I recall her saying as the tears streamed down her beautiful face, "I killed my child ... I didn't want to do this ... They made me do it. How do I live with this?" I was without the knowledge at that time, and all I could do was listen to her pleas.
I see both sides of this ... I have seen the torn limbs of an abortion vs. a rape, incest of physical harm to the mother if delevery was to go full term. They usually induce the labor, and the mother can deliver. I have held those babies in my hand, dressed and casketed them. Abortion is dismemberment and it is a site I will never be able to unsee.
I have seen many of my dearest friends, some who cannot conceive, some are gay/lesbian and some even single parents, who have adopted a child who needed the love these beautiful souls provide. Again, I see both sides. No, I am not judging anyone who chooses what's best for them at the time, but hear me when I tell you, I have listened to the aftermath of their decisions. Some are in their late forties, fifties and sixties. They have cried tears of remorse, carried the guilt and shame for decades, and I have witnessed their freedom as they took the courageous steps to recover that immense pain.
As these types of debates show us more riots, burning down of cities, mass shootings, and violence, just because the media brain washes us into picking a side, and instills hatred among us, what do we do?
We Learn to Float
Learning how to float is a skill many of us need during these treacherous waters we find ourselves today. I just barely touched on some of the losses we have all been dealing with ... trying to make sense of it all. We wrestle with thoughts and judgements towards anyone who doesn't see things our way. We get attacked on Social Media if we post something that someone doesn't agree with, and many of us are just tired of fighting at every turn of events.
We have all been gifted with the God-given right to choose our free will. So choose. I am not a fan of attacking anyone who chooses to disagree. Again, it's their God-given right to choose. I am not their judge, and I will not argue with them. It only feeds the fire of hatred and I choose not to play the game.
I have seen that I have had enough grief in my own personal life, that I finally chose to recover. That alone, has led me to my own personal purpose. We've all heard the term, "Purpose from the Pain." Grief is my purpose. I have been shown that I am called to be a part of healing this hurting world. Trust me when I say the harvest is overwhelming. I can't do this on my own.
Seeing the grief in the eyes of everyone I come in contact with, and knowing I cannot force the healing upon them, allows me to simply float ... I float in peace, as I await the phone call saying, "I can't handle this pain of loss anymore. Can we talk?" My spirit lifts, and I say, "Here ... take my hand and know I am merely a heart with ears as you share courageously a life time of loss."
Once the action steps have been taken, I simply stand and say, "God, I know you did this. Thank you." I make it no secret that I am warring, praying woman. Prayer is energy and that frequency alone is powerful enough to put my dent in this big old Universe. Nothing will stop me from my true calling.
I don't push my beliefs on anyone, I don't play the part of a relgious Jesus freak trying to cram the Bible down people's throat because to be honest, religion is a very dangerous thing. I have been hurt spiritually by the church ... There was a time in my young life that I literally felt as though I hated God. Somehow, he saw my reasons and the lies I believed, and he said, "Come, take my hand if you so choose." I was shown for the first time, a heart, with ears. I talked, He listened. All I can say is my father wounds were healed. Maybe that's one for a future blog, who knows ...
Let me end with some encouragement this day ... We are all witnessing a much needed great awakening. Choose wisely whom you will serve. Seek hope and love those who hurt you. I know it goes against the flesh, but it's freedom for your soul. Forgive them until we reach the goal of healing every single heart on the planet. For out of the mouth, the heart speaks. Listen to their words, and learn the wisdom that they are merely expressing what they are carrying around inside of their heart. The heart can be deceitful at times, until it heals. Once it's healed, the scars remain as a testimony of freedom. We pass it onto the next person, like that same tsunami that hit our shores. This time, it a tsunami of a heart transplant.
Float ... as you heal your hearts. Lay down your weapons, your fears and opinions, and lay down the judgements, choose to love one another. Love covers the wounds, love can heal those wounds. Reflect as you float, and try to imagine a life without all that pain you're carrying. Imagine the freedom your healed heart will experience and how the peace, joy and freedom returns.
The whole world is literally about to witness many signs and wonders ... We are all living in exciting times! So dream gain, set goals again, and know it's never too soon (or too late) to heal your heart.
Remind yourself when you feel exhausted by the challenges of this world, it's okay to flip over, look up, and just float.
From my heart, to yours,
Kim