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Updated: May 1, 2021

Fear is what you pass on the way to success. I always say that most people fail but they can fail their way to success. I should know, I am one of them. Fear is sneaky. It will come from a deep place within the soul. Our brains tend to prey on fear as thoughts of failure creep inside of us, with that seductive whisper. "What if ...."

I fell for that so many times and now I have learned to flip the coin around on the whisper of fear. Every new school year, as a child, it would whisper, "What if nobody likes you?" Fear is like a never-ending fork in the road for all of us. We tend to fall for all the traps that fear is known to set before us as we make this journey called life.

We've all gotten on the roller coaster of emotions that perfection brings. I call it the perfection trap. We get an idea, a dream, a hope and we begin to think upon the array of great possibilities that our lives would make in the world and unto others. As we begin to make the plans that will bring everything together, we realize there are many doubts beginning to creep in, and in order for those doubts to silence themselves, we tend to look at perfection.

To never make a mistake as we strive towards that idea can cause insanity. So we begin to try and rationalize our thoughts. Maybe once I get a new certification, or take a course on public speaking or writing class. Perhaps I should take an accounting course to make certain I can make every dollar count. God only knows how many of these traps I have fallen in to throughout the years. It all boils down to fear. Fear can come in an array of disguises. Fear comes along to keep us 'Stuck' for as long as we are willing to play the game.

Challenge yourself not to be so addicted to your own perfection that you live a small life with no passion for much of anything because you've chosen to play it safe. You don't have to be flawless in order to enjoy this beautiful thing called, LIFE. Pause and think back on how much you have learned, grown, and matured from every mistake you've made in life.

I have come to see that it usually boils down, after a lot of soul searching, that I/we have a fear of leaving our comfort zones. I secretly felt my heart smile as I recalled how long I stood at the edge of the cliffs, at the lake, while everyone below was yelling, "JUMP!!"

Fear gripped me as those same thought of 'what if" entered my mind. What if I hit a rock? What if I don't jump far enough out to land in the water? Fear alone was paralyzing me right there on the top of that cliff. Too afraid to jump, and too uncertain of my own physical abilities. I finally mustered up enough courage to take the jump. I plummeted beneath the cool water and struggled my way to the top. Everyone was now beside me instead of below me. Guess what? They were all applauding me and celebrating my leap of faith. Fear simply vanished. A mere thought, and Poof! It was gone.

You have probably heard the saying, "Attitude determines altitude," and it really is true. A person with a good attitude and almost no physical advantages will go further in life than someone with a lot of advantages and a bad attitude.

No matter how qualified someone may be for a job, I refuse to work with negative people. They kill creativity and put a damper on enthusiasm and passion.

We flourish in a positive atmosphere, just as flowers flourish in proper amounts of sun and rain. One of the things I have learned during my journey with God is that there is nothing negative about Him. God is always positive, and if we want to go higher with Him, we will have to face a few fears, and trust that He has already gone before us to prepare the way. That can create fear within us because we cannot see the path ahead.

We are now back on that familiar fear based thinking and if you don't face that fear, it will certainly keep you right where you find yourself today. Safely tucked away in your comfort zone.

Safe usually means sameness, but God created us for diversity and growth. He wants us to face new challenges, try new things, experiment, and to be creative. The next time you are tempted to shrink back in fear, ask God to give you the courage to keep moving forward regardless of fear.

The next time fear whispers, "What if ...." you have the right right to flip the same question back on fear and ask, "Yeah, What if ..." and be sure to fill in the answer with winning outcome you want to see.

Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord, your God, Who goes with you." Deuteronomy 31:6

How has fear held you back throughout your own life? Have you managed to face it, and overcome it? Many times, words have been spoken over us by someone we looked up to and respected. Those words have power over you if you allow them to. When someone says, "You will never make this happen." Smile and say, "Hide and watch me!" Grab that fear the minute it surfaces and you'll master it with no issues.

I want you to take some time to really look deep into your inner fears. Who put them there? More importantly, Why do you believe those lies?

Pray and ask God to help you forgive those who may have spoke fear in to your dreams. Release it all to Him and ask that He replaces that fear with renewed hope, confidence and ability.

From my heart to yours,

Kim Wolfe

The Grief Lady

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